Dating a Jamaican man
Hi everyone. I have just written a miniature eBook to help out American women “dating a Jamaican man”. It is based on many questions and concerns that I have been asked on my blog http://www.jamaicanrastafarianlove.com So please read this excerpt and if you like it you can purchase the complete version … Thanks so much and Jah bless. (update)This e-book is now called “Jamaican Men” (21 things about dating a Jamaican man) You can buy it on on amazon – Dating a Jamaican Man… (the eBook)
Table of Contents
- 2 Types of Jamaican Men
- Are Rastafari Jamaican men allowed to date white women?
- The trend in Jamaica you need to know about
- 6 Reasons women love Jamaican men
- How do Jamaican men treat women?
- My Jamaican man dominates in the bedroom. Why?
- Help! My Jamaican boyfriend wants to get me pregnant??
- Do all Jamaican men like to fight and argue?
- “Foreign Boopsy”
- 15 Reasons Jamaican men Cheat
- How to stop him from Cheating
- 7 Reasons Jamaican men date white women
- Dating a Rastafari Jamaican Man
- mentally and Physically Abusive Jamaican men
- Do all Jamaican men lie?
- Can you trust a Jamaican man?
- 7 things to make a Jamaican man happy
- Jamaican men and STDs
- American Jamaican men
- I want to go Back Home
- If Jamaican men are so, bad why bother?
“Jamaican Men;”
21 things about dating a Jamaican man
Who I am
My name is ‘Empress’ I am a Rastafari and Jamaican Culture Author, blogger, and Rasta Reggae music song writer. My heritage is Jamaican, and I have been Rastafari from birth. I have written 3 books / e-books…
• ‘How to Date a Jamaican Man’
• ‘Rastafari, spirituality for African Americans’
To purchase please visit www.amazon.com
‘Dating a Jamaican man’ – Inspiration
Dating a Jamaican man was inspired by many questions and comments I have received on my blog, www.jamaicanrastafarianlove Many American women have questions and concerns regarding dating a Jamaican man. I wanted to create a concise and honest e-book that would address their most important questions and concerns. My hope is that women will feel that they have just had a window into the heart of the Jamaican man after reading this e-book. With pleasure, I present to you ‘Dating a Jamaican Man, 10 things American women need to know.’
Dating a Jamaican man – “Must Know” #1
7 Reasons women love Jamaican men?
- Jamaican men have a nice sexy Jamaican accent
- Jamaican men make great lovers
- Jamaican men tell women what they want to hear
- Jamaican men are known to have the big bamboo
- Jamaican men have a cool and interesting culture
- Many Jamaican men have a dark smooth chocolate complexion
Jamaican men and foreign women
Jamaican men have a natural ability to meet and allure foreign women. They are very good at telling women what they want to hear, and they further capture a woman’s heart with their love-making skills. Many foreign women who visit Jamaica, or who meet a Jamaican man in America, often fall head over heals in love with the Jamaican man, his sexy ways, and his culture, very quickly and very easily.
Dating a Jamaican man – “Must Know” #2
How do Jamaican men treat women?
There is no definitive answer to this question. I cannot say ‘all Jamaican men treat all women in “such and such a manner” because that wouldn’t be accurate. However I can give you the break down of factors that can affect how a Jamaican treats a woman.
Does he respect the woman and her culture?
Does he see her as being better than him in some way?
Does he see her as someone who he would settle down with?
Does she understand his culture and his way of thinking?
Does he think she is beautiful?
Is he just using her?
A Jamaican man can treat one woman like Gold and another woman, well….not so great; it all depends on many factors, going on in his heart, his mind, and his motivations at the time.
Dating a Jamaican man – “Must Know” #3
Jamaican man dominates in the bedroom. Why?
If you are dating a Jamaican man and he dominates in the bedroom here are 2 reasons why he may be doing this…
He thinks it’s what you want
Many Jamaican men have a reputation of being great lovers. They are known to last long in the bedroom and have the right equipment to do the job. Jamaican men feel they must maintain their reputation and live up to the expectations you may have of him as a woman. So, if you are dating a Jamaican man and he is dominating you in the bedroom, it’s probably because he thinks it’s what you want.
Conditioned to be the best
There once was a time when it was a rare thing for a Jamaican man to date women who were not Jamaican. In other words the Jamaican man has been conditioned through his culture, that he should do a fantastic Job in the bedroom. Jamaicans are conditioned from they are very young to be the best in all that they do – no exceptions in the bedroom! To a Jamaican man, doing a good Job in the bedroom, means taking the dominant role – Nothing more, nothing less. Buy the book how to date a Jamaican Man. Click here to buy the e-book “Jamaican men” 21 things about dating a Jamaican man” (eBook)
Want free Jamaican Dating for Everyone? Check out this link Free Jamaican Dating, and post a profile!
Jamaica & Rastafari Culture 
I must say not all jamaican men r the same, I just happen to luck up on a man who really completes me n so many ways. This jamaican man and I have been married for four years and we also have a set of twins. Dont get me wrong I have had my experiences,with men asking for money ,that he fallin n luv with me n one day (who does that). Its no different than american men trying to run game
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Yes Sistren. That is wonderful news. I am happy you have found the Kingman for you. There are good and not so good men in all cultures.
Bless. Rastafari.
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amen
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Greetings lil red,
So sorry to hear of your struggle. Many have been where u are now. Pitty. All you wanted was for a man to love & cherish you, but you got a man who most likely doesn’t understand what real love is all about.
The best thing to do is accept reality, work the process of healing your broken heart and learn from the experience.
One day at time.
Be well & happy.
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I meet a Jamaican guy and I must say he is a real looser. He has emotionally damaged my heart and soul. I am very disappointed with his actions towards me.
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I feel your pain. Been thru the same thing. They are sick individuals. But not just Jamaicans, since I have not been to that Island, but have been to St. Lucia and met locals there. Met the beach whores (Rastamen who want sex) and the jewelry sellers who also sell weed. But this one, oh mah, what a gorgeous “Rasta” looking man. Not a real Rasta because his values are all about material things for his self and his mom.
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Is his name Marcellus by any chance? AKA Gaga? Please let me know. Thanks
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is his name wayne aka c**f
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I would be interested in doing a show about Jamaican men i think the are one of the most complete black men on this earth
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I have been dating a jamaican man who is 31 and moved to america from Jamaica 10 years ago! I fell head over heels for him the first ti,e i ,et him, his charm, his sexy different ways, and ofcourse his magnificant bedroom skills.To say the least he is extremly controllling, very insisitive when it comes to feelings and emotions,and does not understand the concept that he has to provide financially for not only himself but me and our daughter also.And are relashionship is ended cause of the recent physically abusive signs that have been showing wth him so will i ever date another jamican man even to find out if they are n ot all the same?….I think not!
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why is this web rasta queen sticking up for these guys? So many are bad & greedy &insensetive, demanding of material things & think its ok to take advantage of white women. They think all they have to do is perform perfect in bed and the rest of the time, we need to be in awe of their blackness & lion beauty, dont ask so many questions, don’t speak to his mom or sister about him (he didn’t want me finding out about himi) not be so negative, (negative to my guy was calling him out on his bullsh*t) give them their space, let them be so cute when they get high and feed them good natural food. oh. yes. the big thing, always something wrong happening, some sort of bad luck and he needed money for this and that. He was such a good liar, performer, actor, had me convinced he loved me so much, wanted to be able to send me fedex gift one day, but for now, he suffers and dont even have 50 cents in his pocket.
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Greetings Empress, I am so happy you responed. I like people to get the opinons of others. Bless. One heart.
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i have been seeing a Jamaican man for three years. Half the time I think it’s off, He disappears don’t see him months on end, keeps coming back. Haven’t slept with him for a year, told him I wasn’t his booty call (tough stuff; best lover i have ever had) Phoned me the other day (been ten months since I’ve seen him ) torture is an understatement. When i read Dani’s comment I felt for her disappointment; I think the damage is attributed to the passion they demonstrate(which appears sooooo authentic) You feel so stupid for falling for the next line they have for you; sugar on their lips and sugar in their hips. Feel your pain; you are not alone.
I will always cherish his passion for me though, beautiful man; always will love him, have to make better choices though. Lesson learned.
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I just started seeing this Jamaican guy & its like he swept me off my feet the same day! His words, his body & of course his accent. We have been talking for about 2 months now & I think I made a mistake having sex w/ him. His bedroom skills are amazing! The article is SO right i am literally falling head over heels in love w/ him. The thing is, I am married to another man & Im scared if I leave my husband for the Jamaican, Im going to be making a horrible mistake. Its almost like Jamaican guy has a hex over me because I cant seem to get this guy out of my head! I dont want to mess up my marriage but I need answers on how to leave this man alone. Im so confused. Any help people?????
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just tell him you have to stop. Same thing happened to me. The hex thing. I was like under a spell. He would call me every day. The accent was amazing, the whole role he had like a deep french accent being from St. Lucia. But he was a Rasta, dark black beautiful long locks, tall, best lover, 28 yrs young, but so so selfish. He will treat you nice sometimes and have you hearing what you want to hear. Work you until you start sending money. That is what they all want. If he was a real rasta, he woudln’t be messing with someone who is married. My “Rasta” knew I was married also, it ruined my life. He even met my husband and 16 yr old daughter while we were down there on vaca. He approached me because he heard I had a heart for the locals. In other words, had “sucker” on my forehead. After this all happened, I didn’t realize how much my husband really did love me after 23 years, we have a teen daughter and we are working it out. But the pain in 4 months this whole thing took place was awful for all of us. Except for the Rasta who made out with some money. I wanted to come stay with him in April and I did for a week. Met his mom, brother, cousin & some friends. Everything checked out like he was legit. So I wanted to come see him again July 1, bought my plane ticket and the day before my flight was to leave, he calls to tell me on the phone that he has a girlfriend and hangs up. Never to pick up his phone again. I think the mom & whole family is in on these scams. Its how they make money down there. Unemployment is 35% in St. Lucia. They are so good at their whole Carribean Rasta lover act.
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Um shauna hun you know u mist end one thing before u start another otherwise disarray and confusion complicate things like the heart…you need to find out what is not allowing your marriage to work and if it still doesn’t work move.on…the only reason you are running to the jamaican guy or any guy is because of the lack of romance in ur marriage a shoulder to cry on becomes a mandingo to ride on…don’t ruin a good thimg…take it fom me ots mot worth the trouble to leave your husband because of infidelityr
don’t take me wrong of ur husnand is abusive physically and emotionally then u know it is not healthy so move on but if there is no trouble in the marriage why cheat?
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Don’t do it!!! This is all an elaborate scam to defraud you for selfish purposes remember being the RULE and not the EXCEPTION! You might want to think that your thing is different and it’s true love while 98% of other ppl in the same exact situation is different! I’ve been with a loser for the past 5 years who totally tried to drain my pockets! I am not the typical drastic age difference, obese women who lands her a nice young stud of her dreams! me and him was a year apart both attractive ppl of the same race (not nationality) I thought I was a exception to the rule and boy oh boy am I eating a nice big slice of humble pie with a tall glass of wasted time! within 5 years this man had a child on me, embarrassed me to everyone and broke my heart so bad that I still cry to this day! I cry because I knew in something was not right and I decided to push on and hurt was the end result!
They will start off nice and you will be allured by something new they will never ask for anything and as soon as they feel they got you, little by little the request will get more greater and stories will get more elaborate and their “bad luck” will just sadden you! and of course you are the only one who could help them with the light bill, granny medical bill, roof leak, cousin breeda mudda sister birthday party!
you will do what you want ultimately and you probably will tell him about your findings and what you read he probably will cuss and say mi ting ah mi ting, mi nuh bodda wit ppl, blah blah blah to make you think you are wrong for doubting and searching the internet they are manipulators and so is the family and friends they are all involved in this plot because once one is better they have a opportunity of all being better!
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Wow…I wish that I would have ran into this site 2 years ago. I met my Jamaican man over 2 years ago. It was so unexpected. I have been visiting Jamaica for over 12 years and never even thought about dating any men there. I had always heard horrible things about them being users so I didn’t dare talk to any of them! I went down there a couple of years ago 2 months after my mom had died. I figured a nice vacation would do me good and would really be healing. My best friend and I had such a good time. We stayed at a beautiful luxury resort (The Half Moon) and to say that it was like a dream would be an understatement. While sitting at the bar my friend struck up a conversation with this gorgeous bartender. She flirted with him and I laughed at her because she came on to him so strong. HIs friend/coworker tried to talk to me. I was very dismissive and even rude. I didn’t want to be bothered with him. My friend asked them if we could hang out with them that night. I figured what the heck. They picked us up that night and we hung out, played cards, went for drinks, danced and had a good time in general. To my surprise the guy who was trying to talk to me started to grow on me. Once seeing him without his uniform I realized how handsome and charming he was. To make a long story short by the end of the trip I was on cloud nine!!! He was so warm, attentive, kind, loving and just beautiful!! He made me feel like I was the only woman on the face of the earth. When I got back home he called me everyday and I couldn’t wait to get his calls. I was just crazy over him. I told him up front that I didn’t believe in giving men money, so if that is what he had on his mind he could forget it. He would always listen and say that he was not like that. He never asked me for money right out but he always had so many complaints about his life. I would feel like DAMN—-why are you telling me all of this. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT!!! After about a year I sent him money for his birthday and would periodically send him something because I felt bad about how hard life is for them. I mean it is an extremely impoverished country. I have taken a trip down there every 3 months. I have paid for my plane ticket, the villa or hotel and the food when I arrive. It’s very difficult because I am used to men being able to do those things for me in the States. I keep reminding myself that he is in an extremely difficult situation with the economy and the fact that he had to close down his car wash and store. It’s gotten to the point that it is so OVERWHELMING!! I am fed up with the complaining!! I cannot and will not supplement your income. I have made it clear that maybe he should find someone who can give him the help he needs because I just can’t do it!!! The sad thing is that I still love and miss him terribly. He hasn’t called since we had the discussion. I do not mean to be insensitive but geewiz—-I don’t want to be nobody’s fool!! He apologized about his situation and was so sweet and loving about the whole thing. I almost felt bad for being frustrated with him. Like I said he doesn’t ask for money but I sometimes feel like he is DRYBEGGING!!! He hasn’t called me in almost a week. Apart of me wanted him to fight for us and wants to still be with him. I really fell in love with him. I miss his kind words and the calls. The toughest part is feeling like you have more than likely been a fool in the first place. Jamaican men really know how to put a spell on you!!
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Hi Lael,
Your experience really resonates with me. I too, experienced the same thing. My ex would go missing(not call) for 4 to 5 days, but would always call to ensure his cash cow was available. And, he would always apologize for his “fucked up situation”
My feeling is…it’s best to date a J’Can man who is financial independent. Problem is…they are not on the di beach, working at the resorts, driving taxi, or a struggling musician. The ones we meet seem to all have a common theme. They need financial support
Lael, take this opportunity( him not calling) to evaluate yourself & the relationship. Do you really want to be financially supporting this guy till whenever? Trust me. I wish I had all the money I used to support my ex. The money is gone & so his he(my choice).
Be well my sister.
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Start running…it is true I recently met one, everything I’m reading so true. These guys are loaded because they bet money from people like us! One borrowed money from me last week, I’ve not gotten it back yet! If he pays me back I’ll be shocked and will eat my words of negativity!
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Don’t leave your husband it will be a mistake separate now before he devours you!
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My name is Erica and I have been dating my Jamaican man for 2 1/2 months. He treates me better than any man EVER has in every way. He is respectful, helpful, great in bed, a bread winner, spiritual, he has goals in life and ambition
and best of all he teaches me things. There is nothing better than a man who can help you grow! I am almost in love with this man already. Not to mention that my kids ADORE him. He even bought them a $850 dog.
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It’s only been two months. So don’t get all excited yet. All you women sound like idiots. Do you even know what a real man is?
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Hello that is so sweet,I just met a Jamaican and talked to him on the phone he tells me how Beautiful i am and it just melts my heart and he lives fifteen minutes away should I met him?
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I think that you should give him a chance. You cannot believe sterotypes. Every person is their own individual and you won’t know unless you try Kim. My Nigel is the best man I have ever had in my life. I wouldn’t trade him for the world. : )
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Ya me and him are dating and i really like him he’s so sweet
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Lots of good information contained in each & every post. My story: I met a Jamaican musician in the U.S. about three years ago. We started a friendship and soon became lovers. When I met him he had no money but is very talented. He once worked in the resorts and hotels and has toured with some the legends in reggae, but the musical career he once enjoyed has flatlined. I’ve been assisting him financially but am now realizing I cannot continue. I don’t expect a life with this man as he already has three baby mama’s, never married any of them, or lived with a woman. I believe he loves me in his own way. We talk daily several times a day. And I’ve been to the island several times to visit with him. But I feel in my heart it’s time to end things between us. I know the depth to which he relies on me, for financial assistance and for a very proud man he wouldn’t accept money if the music industry wasn’t so brutal. A part of me feels bad for my decision to leave him, but if I don’t stop now my financial future will be in jeopardy. Thanks for reading.
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In closing, I’m not looking for a rich man, nor a man that can shower me w/ gifts. Do I like those things sure I do I’m a woman but I had all that from guys & it didn’t leave me anywhere but a headache & heart break. I’m just looking for a man that is gonna treat ne w/ respect & how a woman should be treated. I know that finance plays a role while dating cus I know for sure I’m not supporting no man & of course everyone wants security but I’m willing to go w/ my heart on this one & I know that if that country didn’t make it so hard for them to grow & progress, I know that he could be doing a whole lot better!!
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Kim you have to really envision yourself in this current situation for a prolonged period of time, can you see you living your life assisting a struggling musician? every other guy in Jamaica does music including my EX! the thing about it while in Jamaica do you think any other of his women is going to the extent you are? probably not because all that begging for money they don’t do with their Jamaican women they actually spend money on them, so it’s a possibility that you are taking care of him and courting a next women. Sometimes they make you feel bad for being from “farrin” and being able to have money at your disposal as they think, and you will feel sad and almost obligated to help because c’mon whats 50 bucks or 100 bucks every so often? I believe no matter how nice we are they will always show their true colors after a while so just to play devil’s advocate why don’t you start saying no for a couple of months and see how he act’s see if he still calls you everyday without needing something or if he is as kind to you for saying no and not sending anything for 2 or 3 months straight. I’m sure his true colors will be bright as day once funding is cut off…
I am afraid to tally up how much money I spent in my relationship through trips, western union and gifts all of this was done because I was madly in love and this man now and probably never was that concerned about me. This most recent breakup happened after I lost my job I told him and instantly he started acting strange and different! I couldn’t believe it and didn’t want to we just came off of a vacation I sponsered and this is how he act’s but I guess I was no longer any use to him at that time in addition to this his baby mother told me that they was still together and planning on moving in together and we needed to figure out a way to co-exsist with each other….. NO! AFTER 5 YEARS THE RESULTS WAS THE SAME RESULTS I KNEW IN THE BEGINING please do yourself a favor a test his commitment and worth to you
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Hi Vanitee, you are absolutely RIGHT!! And I feel for you having gone through so much pain and being drained financially. I’ve become very aware that he thinks my funds are endless. He’s about to find out he’s WRONG about that. His financial condition is CHRONIC, and will persist till only God knows when. Therefore, I have chosen to cut the financial cord. And his calls will be set to go straight to voice.
I had long suspected he was sharing the money I sent to help his youngest child’s mother. I’ve been to the island many, many times and I understand the financial condition of many Jamaican men & women. Many of them rely on ” “farrin” for their daily survival, but last I checked I was not a SURVIVAL KIT.
Vanitee, always remember that you are only responsible for the effort not the outcome. I know it hurts because you loved this man very much. But trust me, in the end he will hurt more because you cared out of love. God will NOT tolerate his behavior and it will come back to him. You reap what you sow. Negative or Positive it all comes back.
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Women kill me. Its just like the women who say black men cause they say men are all the same. Ugh women please understand that every race has loosers. Ive met a Jamaican guy and I was so into him and because i allowed bitter ass bitches like some of you to get into my head those so called homegirls that we black women have I listened to, I ended up chasing him away cause my dumb self listened to my friends that told me I was too nice to him. Thats why I dont have female friends and especially keep my bitter black friends to a minimum can you say one. My life has been awesome now. Stop it ladies and realize that maybe you are not good enough for the man you want to be with. When you keep getting the same results maybe you are the problem
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In reply to ccscottrun@aol.com
“bitter ass bitches” Really? We are women who are sharing our experience with the Jamaican men we’ve come in contact with, fallen in love with and helped to take care of financially. Please don’t be so quick to dismiss our experience as we’ve lived it. Unfortunately, you listened to your friends without understanding yourself & your situation. And are you suggesting the only way we are good enough is to give our hard earned cash in exchange for sweet words & sex? I certainly hope not. Women deserve so much more. And perhaps your friends did you favor and just haven’t realized it yet.
Be well.
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You should be glad you chased him away. Dem Jamaican bastard ain’t no good. Majority of dem only want your money and honey. They’re the biggest liars on God’s green earth. One way to avoid being taken advantage of is to say no to the Cocky, than run away with the quickness.
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Just reading everyone’s post & I too am in love w/ a Jamaican man. He’s young, sweet & I feel like he has a good head on his shoulder. He has no kids, no mom, just his dad & 3 sisters. We’ve been dating for 8 months now. I’ve visited him 3 times during this time. He doesn’t have much but he certainly has a heart. He’s only asked for money twice & he wanted a laptop so I got him one but I told him b4 we got together that I was not going to be his personal piggy bank nor will I be his meal ticket out & he was neitneither upset nor hurt. So, we decided to do 50/50 on that & he did pay me half for the laptop even though he doesnt have much, he still did his part. See ladies I think cus were all so gullable @ times we forget to laydown the rules from the beginning. If he really lives u once u lay down the rules, test him out first & see what he does or what excuse he may give cus I told him I dont play w/ money & he gave it to me my first trip out there. I just told the truth cus I’m 31 and don’t have time for games. I’m brutually honest. I don’t buy him anything other than minutes to talk on the phone. When I do ask him if he needs anything he always says no he is fine. He doesn’t ask for much. Last time I bought him shoes I said lets go & get u a good pair, he said no Payless will be fine. My point of saying all of this is that their are signs that us women need to observe first & pay attention to every word & detail & be alert & remember your conversation w/ him. Very important do this. Anyway, from what I just text about this guy, do u all think he maybe a keeper??????
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Hi Coya,
If your comfortable with assisting this young man financially then by all means do what’s in your heart. I did. You sound like you have a really good head on your shoulders and are paying close attention to the vibe. I just can’t do it any longer. Before meeting my soon to be ex-friend I had been to the island many times and I understand the poverty & pain of so many Jamaican men, women & children. In my heart of hearts I don’t really think they want to misuse anyone its just their lack of financial resources that drive them to enter into relationships with farrin men & women to survive the harsh economics of living in an impoverished country. My non-Jamaican friends who live on the island experience the ups & downs of dealing with men who lack the financial resources to stand on their own. It’s just the reality of taking on someone who has less than you. Be well & be careful.
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I maybe a few years late to the conversation….. But I have passionate feeling on the subject and have done plenty of research. My sister in law was married to a Jamaican man. Fathered her two children and was a brother in law I loved! Very talented but yet she the American woman earned the money. When she kindly requested a divorce after years of his infidelity and lies, he chose to kill his two daughter, her life and his. But yet behind the scenes of American law…. His family gained financially. After my digging and research with my in laws – his family ( mind you met his 5 year old daughter before he murdered her maybe twice if that)! He made sure before the planned murder of his family they were to gain. His band members, family members …. Stopped all communication after their deaths! I wonder why?!?! Please anyone defending these men and/ or culture tell me why I learned ( from Jamacian culture -” they do not divorce their wives – they kill them”) yes that is true!!! Oh and we found an ex from over seas with his two sons! Now you want to defend them! Do your research on the culture, my story is not a small %…… And it is known in their culture this story is common! I will never deny my love for him…. I did…. He was a part of my family! I will still, never understand why he couldn’t be honest with me as he was so open and living about so much in his life! He not only disappointed me and my love for him but the sterieotype he has created in my mind which will forever hurt my heart which will never mend! Please understand there is always a percentage that defeats the olds – but to my belief and what I haves lives…. Do NOT TRUST!!!!!
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Make sure he doesn’t have kids lol. Don’t eat from them, there’s a lot of voodoo black magic etc. They practice it’s true SO TRUE it literally is a spell!!!
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I have had a long distance “relationship” for several years now with a Rastafarian over there and your blog sounds better than my experience.. My guy wanted a pair nike’s or reebooks(specifically) each time I would visit.. Every time I would come, I was expected to bring clothes/gifts, etc… and always got a complaint about what I brought.. He was never happy, so I stopped little by little and have since broken it off with him..after many years though. I kept going back for more insanity.. It’s a pity we american women are travelling over there for abuse that we damn sure wouldn’t do here.. If he would’ve acted like your guy, I probably wouldn’t have minded that. So, good luck and I hope it works out for you.
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Hi Carolyn,
Truth & Right.
Be well.
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No he is NOT a keeper. You say no money, but you keep giving. So what, he only wants payless(babylon) shoes? U are still paying. And he is taking. The “humility” the poor guy thing, is playing your own need to nurture. He knows that. I promise you he knows that. U are now a bank…over time it will be more and more…even though you say no, your actions show you as willing…
I live on a Caribbean island. I have watched this happen to every single one of my gringa girlfriends who hooked up with a Caribbean man. Strong, successful, liberated gingas. The first year is bliss, then next 4, hell. There will be mental, emotional and physical violence. I promise if you stay you will lose your light. You will question yourself in unhealthy ways. U will lose all sense of yourself. u will wait for him, wait and wait and wait. There will be jealousy and fights, with great make up sex, but nothing will be resolved. Because the jealousy, the fights are ways to play you. To keep you questioning and submissive. There will always be another woman! Always. U are NOT special.
These ladies here are saying it in their own personal experiences. I have watched it for 14 years of my life. I did it myself for 5 years of my life. U are a body to them, a bank, a babysitter, a slave. U are sacrificed as payback for the imperialist white man’s oppression. They may not be conscious of it, but don’t think if you tell them they will be enlightened to their actions. They will simply find another …
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In reply to gringa,
There’s a movie called “Heading South” The movie explores the pathology of middle aged white women openly engaging in sex with teenagers; paying male prostitutes and feeding their emotional desires. It’s no wonder the Jamaican men have become hardened to this reality and take advantage of the lonely maiden. A lot of these men believe that’s why we come to the island. They believe we are there looking for the big bamboo. And they are happy to please you for a price.
I know a Rasta who met a white woman while she was vacationing in JA. She sought him out and when he received her, she came back to the states, divorced her husband, married Rasta and brought him to America. Over & over he laments to me how she doesn’t believe in his dreams and when he gets his papers he’s leaving her. Rasta and I have never met we used to speak by phone & social media only. I send his calls straight to voice mail and have blocked him from my social connections. He’s using this woman because she offered him a dream. Do I blame him? NO. I understand why they do what they do. So when I met my Jamaican fella I totally understood what I was getting myself into. And have now taken myself out of the situation.
Ladies, just keep it real with yourself. If you are financially able to help and you want to then go for it but remember that’s money you will never get back. I always say never give out more than you can afford to lose.
Blessings.
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I’m open to your opinions & thoughts & thank u foe your words of wisdom.
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I agree, especially the last paragraph.. I thought that many times as comments were made negatively about the “stupid white man”… . I wish I would’ve found this site many years ago.. I’ve tried been through all this shit, but guess I needed to for some reason..
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How do u know if he may just be a great guy? What were some of the thigs ur white friend would do for him or what was some of the things that he would do or say to her that made her change her mind about him. I’m trying to get a lil bit more insight. What would the rasta say or how did he treat her
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I just recently fell for a Jamaican man, met in July 2013 in Negril, goodness did he make love to me like I never felt before, too damn good, first black girl he has dated in a while he told me. Says everything that I want to hear makes me feel damn good at times, funny cause I know it’s all probably game, because I’ve heard it before, hell even probably said some of those lines in the past to guys, send him money at the drop of a dime, went back to visit him the very next month stayed at his home. Situation happened where he got very angry and said some horrible things to me, couldn’t believe how angry he got, I actually teared up, not coming from a strong independent woman like me I WAS SHOCKED I let it affect me that way. I know I am being a fool in this situation, heck he probably has an entire family I’m supporting, why am I so attached to this man, is it because my fiancé and I are having tough times and I’m emotionally vulnerable, I know this is wrong but I don’t know how to break this SPELL, I know he truly does not love me.
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I have been through something like this my self…the funny thing is he was white….my advice is enjoy it while it lasts, and just know its not real and probably wont last long term. Not every relationship in life is “REAL” or “SERIOUS” Some are just for FUN. There is nothing wrong with that. My true concern is…your FIANCE, oh and DO NOT wipe out your bank account!
Bless, Sistren.
Rastafari.
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Yea, see that’s the thing, I enjoy having FUN and it’s great to have a “home” to go to when I go to Jamaica however I’m a very emotional person and can’t separate fun & emotion because I fall head over hills, my fiancé and I relationship is lacking emotional connection that’s why I fell so hard and so fast, which is HORRIBLE NO EXCUSE for what I have done to him, but I LOVE THE FEELING he gives me emotional and physical, what in the world have I gotten myself into……………
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What you have gotten yourself into is a hot mess. And here’s why.
Many Jamaican men live their daily lives in poverty with little hope of gainful employment that will sustain every basic need known to mankind. When you take one on you must be aware of the various pitfalls that can and often do befall the women who fall for them.
Honey, it’s not you, it’s poverty. And, if you have some money they will be very, very attracted to the possibility of you, or anyone who can help lighten the burden. Keep this in mind.
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I second that!
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I just came back from a vacy with my fiancé @ a resort, met a jamaican employe and we are talking back & forth, I am totally in love, but very confused. He says he wants to do a 3 year program here in canada! wants a baby with me! wants me to visit him next month I don’t know what to do, he seems so sweet and he is 15 yrs younger than me.
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I am also dating a Jamaican 15 years younger, wow,
Where did you meet this guy? I am in Canada too..hope
this is not the same guy…
I am already sending him money, take gifts for him and just came back
after seeing him. I am having my doubts but he is too carefull, does not express much and says he is not attached to anyone…did you meet him at resort too?
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Sunflower girl,
Know this truth. If you’re already sending money. Well..need I say no more?
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So the mysterious grip this guy had on me has loosened up a bit my entire tone has changed with him and I’m thinking he was sensing that something was going on. It’s funny because he started calling me way more often I stopped answering the phone as often as well. He asks me to send 500-600 us bucks his car isn’t working, I laugh at him asking me that.. If I send money, I send what I choose to send, on my own terms. Now he says he’s going to apply for a VISA and wants me to write a letter on his behalf, lol. I remember one time he got upset it was maybe 3 weeks after we met he wanted me to buy these car parts for 800-900 bucks, I told him no I don’t even know you like that, I don’t even loan money to my friends let along a stranger, he was like I know you have it, you can’t go into your savings to get it, LOL. I have a kid I’m sending to college next year buddy my money is going there not to sponsor fixing up your car when you are practically a stranger to me and are so inconsiderate. He told me about this woman he dated in Europe who he lived with, pampered him, spent all her money on him she was too bossy so he left according to him. I told him she was a DAMN fool for doing all that. We laughed because I told him if I had the “big bamboo” I would be rich. He apologized to me one day because I told him I was feeling like I was being used and he said right now he is in a tough time, it’s hard a real struggle there in Jamaica his business is not doing well, he said he appreciates everything that I do for him and if he had it He do things for me, but he just doesn’t have it. HOW GENUINE WAS THAT? When I go there he wants me to give him my money so he can take control and be the one paying for things for me, with my own money, lol. Don’t get me wrong when you care about someone you look out for their best interest but not when they are taking advantage of you. I thought when I met this guy he genuinely wanted to be with me like a normal relationship/friendship not you pay me and take care of me in exchange for my LOVEN’ and affection, I didn’t know that this is how it goes in Jamaica, silly me. So far with top ups and Western unions I spent over 1000 us not including the money I spend when I go there to visit him. Honestly I wish I could help him and his situation, get his car up and running because I hate to see anyone struggling plus I know how it feels to not have, before I became a nurse I struggled raising two babies and all, so I understand truly how it feels to not have, but you can’t just expect folks to do things for you, you can’t treat them bad and be so inconsiderate like you deserve to have these things given to you, that’s his downfall.
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Greetings Caught Up,
I do believe the “mysterious grip” was your longing for attention, affection, caring, love, and fabulous sex. Now, you’ve come to your senses about the matter. Good for you!
I should really write a book.
Here’s the truth. Many Jamaican men & women are impoverished. Those who find work in the tourist industry and/or work at a vacation villa are earning $5000.00 JA(minimum wage) which works out to $50.00 USD per 40hr work week. How in the world can anyone survive on $200.00 a month? when you have to consider rent, food, clothing, transportation, medical, dental, utilities and recreation.
During my many visits to the island, I’ve come to know a few people male & female. One of my female friends earns the JA minimum wage, and she has two Pickney to raise. Life is hard. It’s a day to day struggle to survive. So, if a Jamaican man or woman happens to meet a non-Jamaican with a stable income, they are going to be attracted to this. The same as we women are attracted to the attention, sweet talk and great sex. The problem is….the sex gets old and eventually you run out of money. Then you get mad thinking the man used you, when in fact aren’t we the ones using them to fulfill our desires? Think real deep on that one.
Please take care of yourself & your children. And remember this…his struggle to survive is chronic. His medication is a financially stable women who’s willing to exchange her money for his skills in the bedroom, sweet talk, and the false hope that he is in-love with her. And, he might be but how can you ever be sure as long as money is being exchanged for his time?
Walk good my Sister.
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That is so true Kim, I was so blind because I didn’t know that this would be my role, I figured shucks this could be my chance to have a better relationship with someone who actually cares for me treats me well, if I would have known it’s like a business deal I would have went the other way. I understand the struggle it’s pretty sad so I can’t knock a person for doing what they need to survive, there is no way that this guy and I could have a real relationship. I dated a Jamaican man for 6 years who lived here in the US, had his own home, really good job traveled the world, actually went to Jamaica with him a couple of times to meet with family, our relationship was total opposite he wanted to do EVERYTHING for me didn’t feel a woman should do anything financially for a man, loved to spend money on me with travel and things was actually upset when I refused the gifts at times, had a feeling where it was going later in the relationship he told me I was an investment which I took to offense, he became jealous & insecure and relationship became scary, when I finally left the guy he begged me to not to leave and to “use him for his money” if I didn’t want to have a relationship with him, Now what man would say that to a woman? not my type of thing my dignity is more important it’s funny because I can remember from way back when he would tell me “oh so and so said they need 300 bucks to repair the roof” he would send money to them western union like every week seemed like. I’m not doing the money exchange thing anymore, if he wants to continue this relationship/friendship that’s cool. When I go visit him in Jamaica I will give him money for his hospitality and for sharing his home with me, I can give the money that I would have spent on a hotel to him for his time, I would even buy food for the home since I am sharing it with him, but outside of that, the bank is closed and if I feel like sending him a care package to help out I will not be a paymaster anymore, I should not and will not buy the love and time of a man.
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That’s right the spirit. And by all means, please compensate him for the expenses you would have otherwise spent on a hotel & food. That’s just being fair & responsible.
Take care,
Kim
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I like that Kim I’m also in a relationship with an Jamaican man in jamaica, I like that propsel that he won’t be using you, I definitly trying that offer. When me and him goes out we can go dutch instead of out of my pocket. Like you said “The bank is closed” Thanks
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Hi Louise,
Can he afford Dutch?
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Check out this new dating site…. http://www.jamaicanmenwhitewomen.com
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Ladies beaware of a little jamacian guy name M**K F****R he is very charming,kind,nice everything you look for in a man. He is married an he travels back an forth between Virginia an Rhode Island he has hurt so many woman emotionally by not being honest. Woman need to stick together more instead of thinking these men are perfect. The other woman is not the problem its the man. Food for Thought
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I met my rasta here in America not Jamaica and we have not had sex in the three years we have been together I believe in marriage first he agreed one year later he needed gas then money to send to ja I said sure why not two years later I said lets have sex her made 90degree angle and said he could not then disappeared for three days come back ask me for 1500 dollars I said no I have not seen him since now im confused
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In response to: What about me.
Okay…plain and simple. Rasta mans heart is not GENUINE. He came to you as wolf in sheep’s clothing. God loves you, and has shown you this mans true heart. Please pay attention. And leave Rasta man be. Trust me. He’s after your $$$. Keep your heart & purse closed for this man. And when he comes back with the sweet talk, sprinkle some salt on it, and move on with your life.
Be well.
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Im just 21 and my jamaican man is a 23 years old. We’re both college students. We met at a club. He was very sweet to me, always complemented me which I loved. We went out, dated, Such good sex. After a while he wanted me to help him scam others for money. Not once did he even ask me for money. But he would always try to justify the rights in scamming others. I always told him no because deep down inside i knew it was all wrong then he would make me feel bad telling me he needs me to help him. But what hurt the most. He told me a lot of these things about himself. Then one day i met a guy who told me the truth about him. He basically lied to me about his life, he made me think he was going to a certain university but in fact he went to another college. He made me think he was on the school basketball team but doesnt even play ball. I go to a different college, so everything seemed legit and his lies would be so consistent when i would ask what he was up to or practices. But the thing that gets to me is WHY he had to lie about something so small. I know i only met him at a club but even lying at a different school just didnt make sense to me. I never confronted him about me knowing but I did mention how i wanted to visit him at his games and he said he was gonna quit and transfer schools. (yet, another consistent lie) Now I really dont know who he is. I started to distant myself as i felt this was a sign. He still calls me trying to hang out, sometimes even begs for me to come over. I still say no. since i worry about myself first and dont want any harm done to me. Im still nice and friendly to him but thats it. I really did get to know him and felt like he was a good guy cuz he would take care of me when we do go out, always paid for everything and we had a lot of laughs and good times.
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If I were you I would be feeling like the trust has been broken. I agree with your actions. Sometimes people lie because they feel if you know the truth you will not like them…Thats just how it is.
Jah Guidance.
Rastafari.
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Dear Ava,
Your young man is a CON ARTIST. And, you were a MARK just like everyone else he comes into contact with. He gave you the sweet talk, great sex, and paid for your nights on the town, expecting a bigger payout once you worked the CON with him.
Praise & thank God, you caught on before you ended up behind bars.
Stay ever wonderful as you are.
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Hello Ladies:
Please rent this movie: Paradise love: Emotionally vulnerable women, financially vulnerable men. It’s painfully honest and provides a clear-eyed reality where love is a transaction and “the heart remains a lonely hunter.” The movie is based on African men in Kenya, but you can see how the shoe fits for SOME Jamaican men.
Unfortunately, some of us are caught up Sex Tourism and don’t even know it. And trust me, your Jamaican man is not going to school you about it.
Blessings!
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Well, ladies I just came back from another trip to Jamaica to see the GUYYY. He doesn’t ask me for western unions anymore and if he ask me for a top up, he says please and he begs which I do not like, I told him not to do that because begging is still gonna get the same result of NO. This time I stayed at a resort in Mobay, yea I included his name on the reservation, just because and gave him 40 bucks for gas since he did pick me up from the airport and drop me off, I stopped sending western unions, topped him up on his cell once since I decided to “close my purse” well I get to Jamaica put 40 bucks in his tank, get to the resort and this little stinker has a blue band similar to the all inclusive band that was applied for the resort we were staying in on his other wrist. I had a feeling that this guy is a working in the sex industry. He was slick because he turned it around to the other side so the name wouldn’t show, lol. Guess he thought I didn’t notice it. I was only there for three nights, he stayed with me the first night at the resort, and had the nerve to tell me we were going for a drive for him to get some stuff done to his car really quick that first night and had the nerve to ask me for money to pay the guy, i looked at this fool and kindly said NO, and the next day he said “oh I have fun plans for us, were driving to Kingston tomorrow for a road trip, now I know he figured I would go with him and he would get me for more gas money and other things he could think of, I again kindly said no and explained to him why so he went alone and I stayed at my resort and enjoyed myself. The last night we still really didn’t spend time together, he was always on his phone and leaving the room and would be gone for a while, something is up with this guy I can’t figure it out. I’ve asked him straight up how was he making it before I came along and how was he paying his bills he didn’t answer, I suggested that he get money from whom ever was helping him before me. He just fixed up his fancy sports car, but asked me to buy him some shoes for his birthday because his shoes is falling apart, which they are, but you have to have some common sense your shoes have holes in them but you spend all this money on a fancy sports car, now how did he fix up the car if he doesn’t have any money. I had him tip the entire stay at the resort because like I explained to him I paid for everything so it’s the least he could do. Anyhow I broke it off with him when I got back home, told him I wasn’t for him and it just wasn’t working out. He called me a Jezabel, lol I told him I was the best thing that had ever happened to him and his ways destroyed it. I also told him he needs to work on being able to offer women something else other than good sex because that starts to get old after a while, I told him he needed more substance. I did wish him the best. CHAPTER CLOSED
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i am sure even though you suspect this man of prostitution you still slept with him!!Some women will allow a man to kick her in the face as long as he fuks good. Puleeeseee. My current man is the best i ever had, but one mistake i am out! i can find another, big stick does not impress me. I just wish more of you felt the same, and stop the blame game, a man and woman will do what you allow them to. My BF is super jealous, he is not perfect, nor am i, but i am strict with him, and i let him know how i feel right away. you do not own me.Every man from every culture have issues, i was married to an American, at the age of 19, worse mistake ever.
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I agree with you about Jamaica guys. One thing about Jamaica men, they are honest and strongly in bed. Most of Jamaica guys treat a woman with full respect. They are friendly and loyal to relationship and marriage. They try to be good ones who can protect their family. They are intelligent. So, there are many interracial marriages between Jamaica husbands and white wives and so on.
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Warm Advice to Western Women xxx
I would not usually be compelled to add my view point but on this subject I feel I must as a take heed if a Western woman is going to commit to a Jamaican man!!!!!!!!!!! yes they are charmers all of them but frankly the only woman that can manage a Jamaican man is a Jamaican woman. They seem to have a communication which deems “no nonsense” – or in the words “move ya self”. I believe Jamaican men are attracted to Western woman because they are somewhat gentler within their communication with their partner and are unfamiliar with the control of a Jamaican man. I married a Jamaican man later in life and through my professional work I come into contact with western woman who have ventured into relationships with Jamaican men. None of them have worked, the Western woman either becomes a shell of herself with no self esteem and is isolated or they move on separately as a single person but retain marriage status. A Jamaican man has no concept of sharing a life together how Western couples do, more he wants his music, smoke and friends. I see the Jamaican woman cooks all day long for her man, whilst he plays!!!!!!! a Western woman has nothing in common with a Jamaican woman. I would consider my husband to be one of the better Jamaican men but trust me its no comparison to a Western man/woman relationship, again I am talking from experience. I realise this message may seem harsh but its TRUE.
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Hi everyone,
6 years ago I met a man in the Caribbean, he claimed to have fallen love with me but I didn’t feel the same way, however we became great friends.
This year I fell in love with him and we finally got together.
I was very very happy, the happiest I have been in along time.
He did lovely things for me, brought me meats, fruits and veg from were he worked, took me out on long romantic walks on the beach, we spoke for hours, he would cook me delicious meals and we would eat on the veranda together with the beautiful view surrounding us.
I have returned to the UK and I ended up dumping him yesterday, my Caribbean guy was turning me off him, he asked me last week if I could top up his mobile and I thought I am in the UK you are in the Caribbean and you want me to top up your mobile are you serious?
His mother died and I sent him over 100 through western union to donate towards her burial, he said he was stressed and needed a break so I told him he should come over here for a break and be with me, he expected me to pay for his ticket and provide him with money to show custom officers upon his entry to the UK. He also commented that he needed a smart phone to be able to send me pictures and stuff so I told him I had a spare Blackberry he could use, he told me no he prefers an iPhone and I thought to myself who do you expect to buy it as you clearly have no money.
I am began to see clearly he is quite frankly broke, I am a single mother of two children who I look after alone, one of whom has special needs, I can’t afford to be sending mobile credit to another country or paying for his flight and materialistic things he can not afford.
I think he was trying to use me.
He used to call me and hang up when i answered meaning i should call him back, my phone bill last month was 200 pounds on him! I couldn’t do it anymore.
A major factor that contributed towards my feelings was seeing my ex, the father of my daughter.
He works hard and I still have things to show from our relationship, he can provide for his family unlike my Caribbean guy, him asking me for money and things shows me he can not provide. I knew i could do better.
When i broke it off with him guess what he said?
Am i still coming to England?
I said how? we are not together anymore, there is no point.
He said ‘Oh, you don’t even know the plans i was making, i was putting everything in place so i could come over and spend six months with you’
I said how could you just plan to come and say for six months? You would have just landed yourself on me making me believe you would only be here a few weeks.
He then said ‘Let me put it this way, if and when i come, how long could you endure me for? six months? A year?’
I just said no, it won’t work.
He replied, ‘ it’s ok we are still cool, i will call you back, i am going to cry now
LOL
I said ok, and hung up, he has not called back.
I am so glad i broke things off.
I have also just heard this morning from a mutual friend that he sectioned his ex wife over here in the UK and it is because of him she went mad.
I wonder what he did? Maybe he came to England, landed himself on her like he planned to do to me, and wouldn’t leave her house, or worse..
There is more!
Apparently, he reported his last girlfriends daughter for serious fraud in the UK so that his girlfriend would leave St.Lucia to look after her grandchildren while her daughter was went to prison,just so that he could have her house all to himself.
I have saved myself.
I am so relieved it didn’t go any further.
Thank God.
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Yes. Sistren Blessed. The Most High allowed you to see the truth. Thanks for sharing.
Give Thanks.
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Thank you hun, and you are welcomed.
I think it is brilliant you have put this blog together to warn and create awareness to other women of the risks when dating a Caribbean man.
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I’m married to one… He’s been in the US for about 14 months now. My story us the same, he swept me off my feet, kept needing money after we got married while he waited on his visa, he arrived in the US and a very different man emerged. He became controlling, demanding, rude, disrespectful, mentally cruel, calls me names, yada yada yada. I put up a big fight and don’t let him run over me. But it’s been a rough road and I’m certain we’ll end up divorced soon. I have never been so mistreated in my life! I don’t know what it is, but I think in general that we should stick with our own culture; it’s more safe. Jamaican men are barbaric savages by nature and should be left in their own country. These stories are too common, so If you’re thinking about it, think twice and read as many of these testimonials as you can before you decide. I wouldn’t chance it…
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Thanks For sharing, Sistren.Women have to help other women.
Blessed.
Love.
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Greetings Jamaican Empress,
Sad to hear of your J-can man troubles. In my personal experience along with many trips to JA, I’ve had the opportunity to meet some very nice JA men & woman. However, many Jamaicans are very poor, uneducated, and lack the skills to be part of a healthy relationship. If you don’t know their family history and/or background your certainly at a disadvantage when trying to manage a relationship with a JA man. It certainly helps to understand their upbringing, beliefs, traditions, goals & dreams.
My ex-JA man was raised with his father in the home and his parents are still married. He enjoyed a better than average(for Jamaicans) upbringing. However, the career path he chose, has left him penniless with little or no hope to ever earn a decent living to afford a car, house, enough food to eat, phone credit and all those things we enjoy for a comfortable life.
Please don’t accept any form of abuse from this man or anyone else. It is your God-given right to live in peace and enjoy your life.
Blessings.
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Wow! I cant believe what I am seeing. Sure many Jamaican men here in Jamaica are con artist. But a lady have to have her head on her shoulders and know when to read between the lines. Yes we tell you what you want to hear, why would we do otherwise.. but come on! You should be able to tell if we being genuine. As a Jamaican man, I am fascinated by a woman of different cultures. So I would spend my time learning about her and her interest. A man that just begs and talk about his short falls is after something.
A Jamaican Man
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Thank you. Its nice to hear from Jamaican men themselves. Yes, you have a good point… a woman has to have her head on her shoulders. I think Jamaican men have perfected their craft to the point where we women cannot detect when we are being “fooled” or “used” by a Jamaican man…
Blessed Love. Rastafari.
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Hi Andre,
Believe it! My personal experience with a Jamaican man followed the same flow as with many women who have lost their hearts & money to them. The real true Con is ourselves thinking we can save then by supplying money & hoping they will value this & love us for being there for them. The moment they ask u for $$$ u know the time. Lesson learned!!!
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Just my last two cents.. Not all of us are like that. Yes Jamaica have a high level of poverty, but still there are ppl here that make the best out of a bad situation and work hard. Rather than solicit or con foreigners.
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Andre
It’s too bad that Jamaican men have a bad label . However, it’s unfortunate that the vast majority of them really are automatically in “receiving” mode as soon as they know you’re foreign. I’ve been traveling to Jamaica for about 10 years now. I have never met one who didn’t want money. I’m married to one now and he’s been in the US for 1.5 years now. He also has that mentality. I’ve had to demand that he learns what we (American) women expect of a man. I don’t mean he should take care of me, but that he has a role here that includes contributing to the household expenses; that’s if he expects to be respected as a man. It’s been a tough road but I see the transition happening…. Slowly. I hope one day Jamaican men (as a culture) decide to launch a mission to change their reputation and gain a new- found respect for women worldwide. For now, I still feel the need to tell all women, no matter how strong and tough you think you are… BEWARE of the Jamaican man’s game!!!
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I really like your comment. It’s spot on!
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I really like your comment Andre. It’s spot on!
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I just gotta call from him baby madda this morning she tells me he talks to lots of other women all day and he is a liar. Glad I found out now. he told me he broke his phone and couldn’t read my emails….
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I met my boyfriend online and have flown to Jamaica twice to spend time with him and his family. We have what I would consider a healthy long distance relationship even tho we both hate it. Now the relationship has come to the point where I would love for him to come visit me, but I don’t even know where to begin to get him a visa or what we have to do for him to travel to New York City! We’ve both tried researching it online and we get so frustrated and sad. Last night he asked me to relocate to Jamaica to just live with him and forget all the requirements in America…… but I can’t….. I can’t leave my family, work, and responsibilities…… If anyone on the site can help us, before we’re forced to walk away from each other. We just want to know what is the proper visa? How long does the process usually take for him to get granted the visa and About how much is the cost. Signed Gully Girl
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Hello Spanish Gully Girl,
http://kingston.usembassy.gov/how_to_apply2.html
Are you certain you want this guy to come visit you? Please keep in mind, you will be responsible for his care if he is granted a visa. And does he have the funds to pay for said visa? Proceed with much caution. Many a fair Maiden has been trapped with ideal of helping a J’Can find his way to the States.
Just think it through without emotions being involved.
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Be prepared for a long wait and a significant cost throughout the process… Also, understand that sigh a “visitor” visa, he won’t be able to work or get a legitimate job, so you’ll have to take care of him. Now ask yourself what’s in it for you; because the fairy tale will probably end sooner than you think. This is not bad talk…this is real talk. I know there are exceptions, but look at the history and know what you’re getting yourself into.
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I’ve recently returned from Jamica and have met a man that most of you are describing, already loves me! I travel often and have not had such an experience, I’m very attracted to this man sexually and emotionally, which does not happen to me. I love talking and laughing with him, but I am concerned with all the issues in the comments I’ve read, he says he’s truthful about what he tells me, but I’m thinking maybe I should leave it as a great vacation, and stop taking his calls.
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Greetings Sistren,
It’s not good to judge everyone the same, so to speak… Give him a chance but be cautious.
Blessed.
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Hi Coco,
You said, “I’ve recently returned from Jamica and have met a man that most of you are describing”
Just be truthful with yourself & apply wisdom.
If for any reason you are feeling vulnerable back away from the situation until you can proceed with your emotions in check.
Jamaican’s are very lovely people; however, many of them live in poverty seeking financial opportunities to elevate their financial struggling. And, please be on guard for the “DRY BEGGING” telling you all about his financial problems but not directly asking you for money to help out, but leaving you with a sense of if I don’t help he’ll starve to death.
Over the years travelling to JA, I’ve met several American women who live on the Island. And they tell me financially supporting their men is “just the way it is” The struggling Artiste, Taxi/Tour Guide, Fisherman, and others just aren’t earning a decent enough living not to seek outside financial support.
Your guy might feel love for you, be totally sincere in what he tells you, but can he financially support himself without your assistance? You will soon know the answer. And, if you find yourself Toping up his phone or sending money via Western Union it’s time to get out before bank account is drained.
Peace & blessings
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I met my jamaican man he in America. He did have a green card I asked him prior to marriage if he was marrying me for his paper. He said no was were married. Several thousand dollars. Later hee received. His green card..after that he would have sex not saying there was much before.he was rude insulting. he would talk down to me always tried me feel like I was stupid and maybe I was I just felt that he is my husband and I am going to help him and that he would get a job and. Help me however that was not his intention he stayed on Facebook. Or email he finally did get a job never offered or gave any towards rent or anything then turned around. And guilt his saying he hurt.himself. and went right. Back to Facebook. And emails well to cut a very very long story short found he was cheating online with men.we had it out he swore. It was a one time thing well 5 yrs later found out he never stopped. Gave. Several. Chances. now I am done I have. a wreck but he is fine and does not. see anything wrong with his actions. anyone reading this please be carefull JA men are never what they seem my expense only
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Sistren,
I am sorry you went through that. Perhaps your story will help others (women). I hope Jah will shed his light on you…and you will find the proper love you deserve.
Blessed. Strength.
Rastafari.
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Toni,
Sorry you went through all of that. It’s really hard getting over them because you have hard time forgetting how sweet and wonderful they are in the beginning. They know how to charm you off of your feet. I have never seen nothing like it!! Be strong sis… may the Most High direct your path and may he completely heal your heart. Peace and Blessings!!
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hi
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Spanish Gully Girl you can get a K visa (fiance visa) and when he comes to the US you have to get married within 6 months. I guess this will give you time to get to know him better
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I heard its 90 days… Check and make sure.
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I will love to share my testimony to
everybody, because i never thought i will have my
girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get
marry left me for weeks to our wedding for another man.,When i called
her she never answered my calls,She deleted me on her Facebook.
when i went to her place of work she told her boss and everyone is her office she
never want to see me..i lost
my job as a result of this because i couldn’t get myself anymore,my life was
upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life…I tried
all i could do to get her back,but all did not work out until i met a
Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business transactions,have been
developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed
through in getting her back and how i lost my job…he told me he
could help me…i didn’t believe that in the first place,but he swore
he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left
me and also told me some hidden secrets. i was amazed when i heard that
from him. he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the
results in the next couple of days..then i travel back home the
following day,i called him when i got home and he said he’s busy
casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for
the spells,he said i am going to see positive results in the next 2 days
that is Thursday…My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on
Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew
what she was doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she
promised not to do that again. it was like a dream when i heard
that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him
my wife called and he said i haven’t seen anything yet… he said i
will also get my job back in two days time..and when its Saturday,they
called me at my place of work that i should resume work on Monday
and they will compensate me for the time limit have spent at home
without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back
and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back
too,This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him
in the world,the world would have been a better place. He has also
helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all
happy now. Am sending this to everybody. if you are interested
in meeting the man for help. you can mail him on this e-mail;
(priestebafortare_solutionshrine@yahoo.com) i can’t give out his number because he told
me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he
said his email is okay and he’ will replied to any emails asap..hope
he helped u out too..good luck his email;
(priestebafortare_solutionshrine@yahoo.com)
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Amo condividere la mia testimonianza
tutti, perché non ho mai pensato che avrò il mio
ragazza indietro e lei significa molto per me…La ragazza che vuole ottenere
Sposami sinistra per settimane al nostro matrimonio per un altro uomo, quando ho chiamato
Lei ha mai risposto mio chiamate, mi ha eliminato sul suo Facebook.
Quando sono andato al suo posto di lavoro, ha detto il suo capo e ognuno è il suo ufficio ha
non vuole mai vedere me…Ho perso
il mio lavoro come risultato di questo perché non riuscivo a farmi piu ‘, la mia vita era
testa in giù e non tutto è andato liscio con la mia vita…Ho provato
tutto quello che potevo fare per ottenere la sua schiena, ma tutto ciò non ha funzionato fino a quando ho incontrato un
Uomo quando sono in viaggio in Africa per eseguire alcune operazioni di business, sono stati
lo sviluppo di alcuni anni indietro…Gli ho detto il mio problema e hanno superato tutti
attraverso nell’ottenere la schiena e come ho perso il lavoro… mi ha detto lui
potrebbe aiutare me non credeva che in primo luogo, ma ha giurato
lui mi aiuterà e mi ha detto il motivo perché ha lasciata la mia ragazza
me e mi ha detto anche alcuni segreti nascosti. sono rimasto stupito quando ho sentito che
da lui. ha detto che lui sarà un incantesimo per me e voglio vedere il
risultati in un paio di giorni…poi sono tornato a casa in viaggio la
dopo giorno, lo chiamavo quando tornai a casa e ha detto che è occupato
Tali incantesimi e ha comprato tutti i materiali necessari per
le magie, ha detto che vado a vedere risultati positivi nei prossimi 2 giorni
che è giovedì…La mia ragazza mi ha chiamata a esattamente 12:35
Giovedì e mi scuso per tutto quello che aveva fatto…Lei ha detto, non ha mai conosciuto
quello che stava facendo e il suo comportamento improvviso non era intenzionale e lei
promesso di non farlo di nuovo. è stato come un sogno, quando ho sentito
che da lei e quando abbiamo finito la chiamata, ho chiamato l’uomo e gli disse
mia moglie chiamato e ha detto che non ho visto niente ancora… lui mi ha detto
riceverà anche il mio lavoro indietro nel tempo di due giorni…e quando il sabato, essi
mi ha chiamato al mio posto di lavoro che mi dovrebbero riprendere il lavoro il Lunedi
e mi compenserà per il limite di tempo speso a casa
senza lavoro…La mia vita è tornare in forma, ho la mia ragazza torna
e noi stiamo felicemente sposati ora con i bambini e riavere il mio lavoro
anche quest’uomo è davvero potente…Se abbiamo fino a 20 persone come lui
nel mondo, il mondo sarebbe un posto migliore. Egli ha anche
ha aiutato molti dei miei amici a risolvere molti problemi e sono tutti
ora felice. Sto inviando questo a tutti. Se siete interessati
nell’incontrare l’uomo per aiuto. è possibile mail lui su questa e-mail;
(priestebafortare_solutionshrine@yahoo.com) non riesco a dare il suo numero perché ha detto
me egli non vuole essere disturbato da molte persone in tutto il mondo…Egli
ha detto la sua email è OK e lui ‘ verrà risposto a qualsiasi email al più presto…speranza
Egli ha aiutato u troppo…buona fortuna il suo indirizzo email;
(priestebafortare_solutionshrine@yahoo.com)
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Reality check. You could just be his supplemental income.
The struggle to survive is very real. So, please do not doubt if your J’Can man is struggling financially, your money will be very attractive to him. And the first time he starts dry begging and/or asks you for money you have your answer. Love is not on his mind.
JAH bless.
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Thanks for posting the youtube video!! It sure puts everything in perspective….it’s a very hard pill to swallow. You end up feeling like the biggest fool. This site is actually like a support group. I just recently broke up with my Jamaican guy because of all of the things mentioned on the site. You really try to be open minded and you hope that maybe they are different and you don’t want to stereotype them. It seems like 85% of the time you will end up getting the short end of the stick. The sad thing is that most of the time we end up really caring about them and we may have been just a means to an end (money) and sex whenever they can see us. Anyway, words can’t convey how much I appreciate this site. Peace and Love sistren!!
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Hi Lael,
You’re most welcomed.
Putting things in perspective gives us strength to move forward with our lives. The way you express your story tells me, you’re a wise & strong woman who just happened to fall in love with a man who endures chronic financial problems. His job probably only pays the J’Can minimum wage of $5000.00 JA per week equivalent to $50.00 US per week. Who the hell can manage a decent life on such a meager wage? Truth be told. We can’t save them. It’s best to allow J’Can women to manage their men.
Yes, the guy with dreads with the big loop earnings does seem a little sweet.
Be well & walk good.
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Is it me or does the guy with the dreads with the big loop earrings look a little sweet???? LOL
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sweeter than sugar cane. He is obviously GAY, but the big Bamboo got all the farin women blind and stupid. yuck!
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Islandgurl33,
Do you have the same perception of J’Can women? Are they going crazy over the Big Bamboo? I happen to know one J’Can woman who knows for a fact her man cheats on her over and over. She hurts, cries and knows she can’t trust him, but she would never leave him cause she’s “gettin nuff good lovin.” Btw-he’s brook as hell, too. So, not only does he cheat he has no viable means of consistent economic support to help her. Hell, he can barely help himself without the compassion/kindness of “farrin” women.
Just saying. Same situation happening to local & “farrin” ooman. It’s not isolated to “farrin” women only.
Be well & blessed.
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Most of the island women i know, dont give a two craps about big bamboo, we like nice things, and if you cannot provide you are basically a loser to us. I am from St Lucia, and the men there, at least the ones i am familiar with take care of their women. i am not saying all of them take care of their women, but most do.
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I live in the States, i am from St Lucia, I have personally witness the desperation of white women in St Lucia. This one white woman out of her own mouth ask this young guy, ” can you fuk me one more time, i am leaving tomorrow” i cringed, i was so embarrass for her. The guy pretended not to know her, while trying to talk to my friends and myself. Yes Caribbean men like to ask for stuff when they know you are coming from overseas, i use to do it to my sister that lived in St Croix, every summer i gave her a list of things to bring for me. My best friends mom does it to me. i have made it a habit to not tell them when i will be visiting. because of all the stress of buying things i could not afford. Now lets be real, the men from Morocco, turkey, Kenya, even Spain does it. why does the Caribbean men get such a bad rap? i am dating a Jamaican man now, and if he ever ask me for a thing, i will let him know right away it will not happen. But he is hard working, and has given me money for gas, and i eat for free in his restaurant.now i make a decent living, but i grew up with the idea that a man takes care of his woman. Some of you women are so desperate, giving a man your money then turn around and blame him. get some self esteem.Stop going to the Caribbean for sex, Stella did not get her groove back there, remember that man was really gay. white women are going to turkey, Dominican republic, Africa, the men go to Thailand, Korea, Philippines. stop blaming the Caribbean for things your parents have done for decades.
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Sometimes people forget that sex…is a 2 way street!
Blessed.
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IslandGurl,
“A closed mouth does not get feed”
I too, grew up with the idea “a man takes care of his woman.” But, lets be real. How many Jamaican men can actually take of their women & Pickney? My ex-JCan man can’t even take care of himself let alone a woman and child(ren).
I can’t deny some of the woman are desperate, but many are just compassionate. When you go to the islands specifically seeking SEX & SUN, you get what you get. On the other hand, some of us are not fully aware of the financial Culture & the SEX trade happening in these Third World Counties.
Funny thing is…when I visit Jamaica, I never entertain the advances coming my way because I know the time. I met my ex in America and he is not a “Renti” He’s just broke over a decades music career that has not been kind to him. My love for him & compassion led me to help him. However, I stopped doing it because if I didn’t I would be broke too. And that’s not about to happen.
Personally, I think J’CAN women manage their men & relationships more effectively then us “farrin” women.
Blessings.
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I second that Sistren.
Blessed.
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well hon you are sadly mistaken if you think all Jamaican men are dirt poor, i dont know where in JA you hangout. my Ja bf have his own money, a long time ja friend of mine, works for BP and make well over 100,000 a year. my friends JA boyfriend is a Physician Assistant and also teach he makes a good living. Kim you keep saying JA is so poor, maybe its just the people you keep attracting.
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Islandgurl,
No where in my comments do I ever say all J’Can men are poor and/or living in poverty. My comments are reflective of the poor J’CAN men, who prey on female tourists. Please see the video I posted. So no, I am not sadly mistaken when I am speaking about a specific type of male and why they seek to supplement their income from “farrin” women. The women posting in this forum are not meeting doctors, lawyers, bankers, highly skilled workers, or well-paid musical artistes, They are meeting J’Can men living on the lower ranks of the social & economic status in Jamaica. The resort/hotel workers earning JA minimum wage. Also, I have travelled the island from Kingston, Ocho Rios, Montego Bay, Negril to the South Coast for over ten years now. Sometimes, I visit up to three times per year. I’ve rented some the most luxurious villas & condos on the island. And have come in contact with some of the more affluent Jamaicans whom most people will never meet just hanging at the beach & resort. It really does help to keep things in perspective & context when reading and responding to the concerns of these women who have lost their hearts and money to the particular type of J’Can men we are speaking of.
I speak from Knowledge, observation, well documented studies and from the experience of having American friends who’ve lived on the island ten or more years and have witnesses these events up close & personal.
Btw-glad you have a financially secure J’CAN man. Not all J’CAN women & “farrin” women are so fortunate.
Does BP pay JA or USD? $100,000.00 JA equals $900.00 USD.
http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/news/20-per-cent-of-Jamaicans-living-in-poverty
http://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20140305/cleisure/cleisure2.html
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Empress Yuajah,
I purchased (over the weekend) the Kindle version of your book “Jamaican men! 21 things about dating Jamaican men.” Pretty good read. However, this culture of Sex travel/trade needs more exploring. It seems(myself included) are falling in love and/or lust with Jamaican men who are not “Rentes” “Rastatitutes” and the like. And are unaware of the dangers of hearts & bank accounts will face when tings don’t work out.
On good authority and verified information I have learned my ex is pursuing various women through social media even though he has a steady J’CAN woman. These unsuspecting women are falling for him not knowing he will soon be asking for their hard earned dollars. He’s desperate for money, and his JA ooman can’t help him. I get he’s trying to survive under harsh financial conditions, but DAMN it!! To mislead these women is wicked. He doesn’t hide he has a situation, he just complains it’s a “fucked up” situation going no where, but he’s around her(not married or living together) for the sake of the child. So, your left thinking maybe, just maybe I have a chance when you don’t.
Some of these men don’t fall into the trap of selling their body for money, until they become very desperate to survive. Sad but true. Glad I got the hell out of it.
Thanks for sharing enlightenment though your experience and book.
Blessings!
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Yes Empress.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessing & Love. King Selassie I
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Kim in most of your post you have said JA is so poor, this is the first post where you mentioned the different side. No BP.. British Petroleum pays in USD. He owns two houses in the States, one in Long beach CA, and Other in Palos verdes CA. and many more in JA. I know many JA men and all of them are doing very well financially.
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Islandgurl33,
If you read my posts carefully, it’s very clear my comments are directed towards the J’Can men who live in poverty and look to “farrin” women to supplement their income(was the video not clear enough?). And, yes, there is a problem with poverty in Jamaican, as well as other Third World Countries and America. No need to debate this truth! However, we are not focusing on men who are financially well off. Very few “farrin” women ever come in contact with these men because they are not hanging at the beach, working at the resort to entertain tourists, driving taxi or tour bus. I often rent a luxury condo near Ocho Rios. The owner is Jamaican, and worked in finance. We have a great rapport. But, the ladies posting here more than likely will never meet such a man. I humbly ask that you do not take my words or thoughts out of context and apply them to the 1.3 million Jamaican men living in Jamaica.
Please re-read my posts for context as I am addressing a specific audience.
I was born, raised and live in So. Cal. I know the areas you mentioned very well. I also, know homes in Palos Verdes start at six figures. A person earning $100k a year would not qualify(I worked in lending as a former loan officer) for a six figure home earning in the bottom five figures due to income to debt ratio. So, Kudos to your man for achieving what many cannot earning $100K a year living in So. Cal.
All the best to you.
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Thank you for saying that. People need to know that not all Jamaicans are the same and not all of Jamaica is the same.
Blessed.
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Blessings Empress,
I think people do know Jamaicans are not all the same. Interesting how you point the following out in your book. “Is he just using her.?” “Short term play.” You warn women “If your Jamaican guy is just using you…he will probably treat you poorly.” So, you are well aware of how things happen in JA.
I have a gf who owns a farm in JA, and last year married her Jamaican man. She has supported him during their entire relationship. Although, he works the farm if not her his situation would be very bad. I also rent a condo from a financially well-off Jamaican(living in JA). However, the women who come to your blog don’t meet these types of men. Mr. A has hit on me several times, but I never play into it. As he has a wife. I rented a condo last year in Negril & the manager of the unit made his advances, but I was there to visit my ex who drove down from Kingston. The manager is of some financial status. He too, has a wife.
So yeah, I am very aware not all J’Can men are the same.
Be well Sister.
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Str8 from the mouth of a Jamaican man. It’s a wrap!
” It definitely transcends the “simple business transaction” assumption. A lot of these women come to JA with the belief that men here would be more loyal, appreciative and committed to them BUT unless the man is well-off in JA, I can tell you that he has some ulterior motive for entering into a relationship with dat farin woman. Apart from sex, other reasons include money and ability to travel and migrate overseas etc. As a matter of fact, those two are very IMPORTANT to a struggling Jamaican man.
I know nuff Jamaican men who “fall-in-love” with these women in JA but as soon as them get that green card/visa and reach farin them gone. If you were to run a cursory check on Google about tourists falling in with Jamaican men in JA I guarantee you that most of the results would show that many of these women “feel”that they scammed by their partners. (Notice, I’m ONLY referring to FEMALE tourists and not MALE, becuz it’s mainly women tourist who come here for that unlike in a place like the Dominican Republic/Colombia/Ukraine where men flock to find their trophy wives).
The interesting thing about this topic is that if you have ever been to Negril you would realize that it has probably the highest concentration of bi-racial Jamaicans in JA. Most of that stem from the tourists and locals cross breeding.
I’m not always saying that these female tourists are always unattractive but they generally fall in the average to unattractive range. Why JA men still get involved with them? Simple, OPPORTUNITY. IF I’m a poor country yute living on Jamaica’s North Coast where I regulary come into contact with these women I would do ALMOST anything to be”
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Greetings.
Jamaican people know the Foreign women, that go down there, go Crazy for Jamaican men, so the Jamaican men make the (sex, “love” “relastionship” etc) Foreign women…their income…
Blessed.
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Kim this is the last time i respond to you. You have been hurt by JA men mostly because you are unattractive i am sure. And to say My friend would not qualify for a house on 100,000 a year, what a JOKE. he owns a beautiful home, not to far from the Terranea resort. You talk like you know everything, you don’t. He bought the home a couple years ago actually, and it was not hard to qualify. He has just completely renovated it. Anyway for the other ladies looking to bag a JA man. here’s a couple tips. island men love sexy women, they love tight vaginas, pum pum the JA men call it, if its tight you wont be able to get rid of him, he will be hooked for life. Any Ja man that reads this can agree or disagree, but that’s what i was told, from talking to my male friends and current boyfriend from the Caribbean.
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Thanks & I appreciate that! Likewise. This is my last response to you. In closing I would like to express I believe you are very judgmental & lack reading comprehension. Not one time have I ever said, my ex hurt me. Truth is…I broke off the relationship. It was clear his financial situation was chronic & I no longer wanted to financially support him. Btw-I am very attractive. If you can handle TRUTH send me a PM & I will forward my facebook address where you can see my pics. I am not the type of woman who’s stuck on herself, because inner beauty out shines physical beauty 24/7/365, but nuff men have told me, I am very beautiful.
Walk good.
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Kim,
Don’t let the things that have been said bother you. I have truly appreciated the wisdom and knowledge that you have shared regarding some Jamaican men. You have never said that all Jamaican men are the same. Even the ones that are poor and fit the profile that you have suggested may not be a user. It is possible that they could truly love a foreign woman. However, I do agree with you that most of the time it is for financial gain. We all make choices….either we see or choose not to see the obvious. If you have been blessed to meet a man from Jamaica who is prosperous or one that is poor and he brings you loyalty, honesty and love then hey…be happy! If not—run as fast as you can. It is a hard thing to do because they are so captivating. No one deserves to be used regardless to whether or not they are attractive or not. Trust me…they will use a beautiful woman just like they probably would an unattractive woman. It just depends on the person. On the other hand, a man could fall in love with a so called unattractive woman. If she loves him and has a good heart, he may not want to lose her! After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Blessings and Peace Queen!!
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Lael,
I truly appreciate your depth, understanding and compassion. It’s very refreshing. I care about all women and it breaks my heart to hear their stories, and I would not be responsible and loving if I did not encourage them with knowledge & understanding.
I never doubted my ex fall in love with me. However, I knew I could not continue the relationship because I would end up completely broke. And this could never ever happen.
I count you as friend. Be blessed & well.
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WOW! Cant believe you all cant find a good jamaican man. Here is one.. ME! salohkcin@hotmail.com
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Hi Andre,
There are plenty good men in Jamaica. Seems most ladies who find this forum are going through troubles with the Jamaican man they met. Hope u find a good woman.
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It’s so funny how the posters feel they are “victims” when they clearly made very poor choices. Get your mind right and take full responsibility for your actions. I am dating a Jamaican man and let it be known…I am skeptical. Not overly but enough. He is very handsome, charming, and philosophical (I don’t know him sexually) but I know he makes less than I do and he lives with his mother (he arrived in America 1 year ago). So, learning his motives is very important to me. I just don’t understand how women go all in immediately, send men money, and call their situation a scam (when you’re the fornicator / adulterer). I came across this post because I was curious about motives…not because i’m desperate. Wish me luck and I will pray for you!
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I wish you Luck Sistren! Sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders.
Blessed Love.
Learn
The eBook.
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Jane,
Never mind his motives. What’s most important is that you remain a virgin, mistake proof & find a man that earns more income than you leaving no room for skepticism. Given your depth of intelligence you shouldn’t bother your mind about it.
I will pray God blesses you according to His will & purpose.
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I really appreciate this blog as a way to warn tourists that decide to enter a relationship with a Jamaican man. I am 19 years old and recently ended my relationship with a Jamaican man. DO NOT THINK YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS THE EXCEPTION. I come from a Jamaican family, and people warned me about Jamaican men, but it being my first relationship, I didn’t want to listen. I thought I was being careful, but I wasn’t being careful enough. I really liked my boyfriend, but I never loved him the way he said he loved me. When I first met him, there was a sense of security with him that I had never felt with anyone else; he just made me feel safe, and he was my beloved cousin’s “best friend” so…Although he constantly talked about sex, had a controlling air about him, and made it clear that he wanted to take my virginity, words that would usually make me run away were pushed to the side due to the way he made me feel. For 2 weeks after he met me, he came to my cousin’s house every night after work to spend time with me and we wouldn’t go to sleep until 2 or 3 in the morning. He’d sleep over my cousin’s house in the next room and go to work late the next morning. He played a song for me, told me about his upbringing, cooked for me, helped me pack my suitcase to leave, he even sat me down for a conversation and when I asked what he wanted to talk about he confessed that he loved sex and would need to sex another girl while I was away and asked if I was okay with it!
I ended up losing my virginity to him, and when I got back to the states, he called me everyday for the first 3 1/2 months. We would talk for 1-2 hours on the phone every night; we would tell each other about our day, he would ask about my classes and grades, my mother… About two months into our relationship, he told me he had something to tell me and he was scared, and after minutes of convincing him to get it out he confessed that he had sex with his ex a week after I left and got her pregnant. I broke up with him on the spot and didn’t care when he called me back 3 times crying. I didn’t talk to him for two days, but I after that I took him back with a warning because even though I knew I should have been mad at him I cared about him too much to let him go because of that. He had come down with a bad flu a few days before he told me his secret, and when I forgave him he immediately felt better. He called me before class the next morning, washing clothes and singing to the radio! I guess he worried himself sick!
Fast forward to second semester- three Western Unions (20,30,50 dollars) and hundreds of dollars in Digicel credit later- and he barely called. When I sent him credit, he called everyday; but when his turn came, he barely called, something was always wrong with his phone, it was dead, it dropped out of a taxi. I broke up with him several times over it, because I felt neglected. I knew the relationship wouldn’t last, because waiting for his call and not receiving it was beginning to take a toll on me. I was used to him calling everyday or sending me loving texts in the middle of the day and his time seemed occupied. Now, it was going on 2 weeks since his last call, and he didn’t call me on New Years or Valentine’s Day. It hurt.
Although I had fallen out of like with him and was beginning to become stressed with my situation, I held on. At this point, I didn’t want him as a boyfriend but I needed a friend. My lack of friends and depression left me vulnerable to his games and mistreatment. I was so happy to have a sometime friend that I complained but did nothing about it. Long story short, I went back to stay with my cousin in Jamaica this summer and found out he was still messing with his ex. She confronted him on the beach while we were there with one of his friends. For a week or so, he told me a mixture of lies and truth about their relationship and said he told her he didn’t want to be with her. I didn’t believe him until the morning after he told me he told his ex he didn’t want to be with her, we found out she committed suicide. Can you believe how I felt knowing that he was with me, chasing after me, while she was fighting for her life in a hospital?
He wasn’t all bad and sometimes I think he really did love me- like when he cooked for me, snatched the wig out of my hand every time I tried to put it on, kissed me in the morning, feel asleep on my stomach, threw his phone at me when we argued over it, bought me a beautiful faux diamond heart jewelry set…and wore it around his neck when I got mad and threw it out of a taxi window. He told everyone about me, including his family and friends, and apparently his ex knew about me too because she referred to me as his “wife” when she confronted him. But like they say, the devil isn’t bad all the time; even the devil himself has a side of seduction and pleasure. And while I have fond memories, I also have negative ones that tell of an abusive side if I had stayed and that I would not like to see the full extent of. Ladies, just don’t deal with Jamaican men; a few closed doors can save you a lot of heartache. I’m just glad that I came out pregnancy and STD-free, and I took my gifts back. He made me wiser and the distance prevents me from going back to him.
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My relationship only lasted for 10 months, most of it long distance. I’m glad that he showed his true colors and was honest about certain things early in the relationship, which gave me full right to leave him had I been strong enough. He wasn’t so smooth and manipulative that I couldn’t see through his ways and know what he was about, unlike some men who manage to swindle the women for years or until they get a visa. In that case, the woman is a victim, but in my case, he made himself perfectly clear and me being new on relationships I didn’t understand. He told me he wanted to have sex with me, he told me he had a girlfriend, he told me he cheated on all his previous girlfriends, he told me about fights he got in and being arrested for weed, he told me he was broke, he told me about his temper/attitude, he told me he had no intentions of going to church (due to the death of his mother)…The one thing I can say about him is he never tried to trick me, and he told me many times that I knew his situation and I could either stay or leave. I just saw so much potential that I now know he doesn’t have.
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What’s his name??
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Hi BetterSmartGirl,
Yep, he gave you enough truth to leave him where you found him. No where. Glad you saved yourself.
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Omgosh, this is just so sad. A woman he was two-timing with on you takes her own life away over this guy? And where’s the child ? Had she given birth before you returned, or did she take the child’s life along with hers?
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Greetings to all.
Most of us come in search of answers for the many, many questions we have regarding our Jamaican love interest or to just vent in a safe environment. Sometimes, we must ask ourselves questions to answer the question we have regarding our love interest. Answering yourself truthfully will most likely reveal the answer you need.
When I was painfully struggling with myself to leave him or continue on…I searched for sites to help me decide. When in reality I already knew the answer. Most powerful question I asked myself was…would he continue to engage me, if I wasn’t financially supporting him? NO!!! He needs financial support so it makes sense he wouldn’t.
Be great!
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My name is Jermaine and am a Jamaican living in Jamaica, Now i must say reading all this has made me wonder, Is it that men don’t get hurt too, or is it that only females are prone to getting used and hurt. First of all the reason why Jamaican men love american women is because they can be very independent and most Jamaican girls only wants money…..I never have sex with women unless i know they really like me, because after a while they stop seeing my values and start seeing my dick…and it sucks, yea i know right one would think that that’s every mans dream, but there is more to life than just sex….. We need love just like any other man on the planet and its just a statistic that white women tend to do a better job sometimes….The lady who wanted to do the show about Jamaican man can reach me at jermsgood@gmail.com
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Greetings Jermaine,
WOW!!! Great question. “Is it that men don’t get hurt too” Yes, I’m sure a few do get hurt. And, I totally agree with you, life is more than sex. But, what are you offering American women? Can you date one without needing financial assistance? If so, I’m sure the right one love you for you.
Blessings abound.
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I came across this blog mistakenly and found it interesting. My story is as follows. I met a 40 y/o man (in the US) who is of Jamaican decent and moved from Jamaica at the age of 10-grew up in New York. We started dating and quickly fell in love. I started finding out that he had past sexual relationships with most of his “friends” that he was introducing to me. He also told me that he and his ex-wife had been swingers. He said this was not the lifestyle he wanted anymore so I foolishly gave the relationship a chance and we moved in together. Of course, it didn’t take too long for him to start staying out all night and to try to convince me to become a swinger. He went back to his swingers lifestyle without me and the relationship ended. This guy was addicted to sex and “the lifestyle”. He made decent money. Probably about 70K/year but still asked me to pay for dinner from time to time and though he was living rent free due to the GI bill, he asked me to pay all of the utilities and buy all of the groceries. I don’t agree with stereotyping people but I personally would never put my heart on the line again for a Jamaican man.
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Dear Jenny,
Your situation was a lifestyle issue not a Jamaican man issue. Big difference. Just stay away from Swingers of any race.
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I recently came back on vacation a month ago I met this Jamaican guy he gave me his number I believed he passed it on to a friend well friend has started callin me he supposedly working a job in New York we been talking on phone and texting he wants to come to see me in the state of Chicago when he finish his job for the weekend I told him in the beginning I don’t pay guys money for nothing with that said do u think I should take a chance and see what he’s about
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yes.And ask him for money, make something up and see his reactions.
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Chele,
Don’t even waste another thought on this guy. Guy #1 pass your number to Guy #2? Girl, they playing you for fool. Block their numbers & move on.
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Yes. That what I was thinking to do leave them con artist alone
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Jamaican men are not worth the effort even the ones already in the country with green cards. That “Get over on everybody” is engrained in the men and women. NOT worth the headache. Worst are the fake Rastas..like they have some type of spirituality…Never touch another Jamaican man the thought makes my stomach hurt.
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…engrained yes! Read the ebook “21 Things about Dating a Jamaican man” (living in Jamaica)
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Learn about Dating Jamaican men & Women on http://www.Jamaicanlove.org
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