I want to share with you the many forms of Racism I have encountered. To you some of them may be nothing, you may event consider some of them positive. But add them all up over 30 years and its too much to swallow.
my first encounter of “Racism”
I had been about 4 years living in the same area. Just getting to know all the children living in my building and around.
I am playing on the monkey bars and for the second time, a certain little boy, calls me “N” I did say it was the second time right, by the way I was about 8 years old when this happened. This little boy also used to beat me up and I would run home crying.
Just before this incident occurred….I told my Mom that a boy in the park was beating me up. She told me the next time He did it I needed to punch him hard! So that last time he called me “N” and I was on the Monkey bars, I jumped down off the monkey bars, punched him in the stomach, he doubled over, I ran home…He never called me “N” again.
So, I am in the bar (before I was Rastafari ofcourse) having a beer and doing my thing. There is a white guy, immediately he notices me. He starts talking to me….he says Yeah My ex girlfriend was black. We hadnet even been talking 5 mintues. I almost feel like as soon as he saw me he planned to get these words out.
Do you know How many times I have heard variations of the same sentence…..
- My babyfather is black (Jamaican)
- My God Mother is Jamaican
- My Son is Black…
First of all I really dont care, second…I dont want you to treat me or talk to me, or date me because of my skin color. This is just sick! You should get to know me.
I love when I meet people Asian, white, black, who make no mention of my skin color. Then I feel like we are relating as two people.
Dont talk to me because I am black and Jamaican, and then tell me of all the Jamaican or black connections in your life. I feel that is ignorant. It doesnt make us sisters, and it doesnt mean you understand my experience as a black woman any better. To know it you have to be it.
When I was 11…
When I as 11 years old or so maybe 13 I had a girfriend her name was Erin. Anyway we were planning for a night out with some other girls…she made the comment right in her bedroom infront of all 3 of us…”oh yeah black people never have any money.” Do you know she ended up marrying a black man…he was a pinp for goodness sakes. I think that is totally racist. And this girl was my friend for goodness sakes….
So there is the blatent and the not so blatent.
There are many more examples but I dont like to think about it because I get upset and start doubting the people around me…..
I encounter Racism every day. I am exausted by it. I think people will never be able to see me a just a person. Only a black woman, and do most that means something fearful.
One thing I promised my self when I became a Rastafari, is that I would never try to make people like me….I just think if they dont like you, then they dont like you. It made me really see how many people like me because I like them and how many people like me for me.
This is my Serious Rasta Rant. Am I having a bad day? Yes. But there are some realities I want to get out. This is how I started my Jamaicanrastafarianlove blog in the first place. I wanted a place to put my thoughts feelings and experiences…
Ok so I was often asking my self this question, why do so many black men (and black women) want to marry and date outside their “Race?” (I use the term loosely) Well, for the longest time I was very judgemental about this. I thinking….
You hate yourself
You don’t know yourself
You just want to be white
You want to appear less black
Now I realize they want to save themselves and their children from pain. I face pain as a black woman in my life in Toronto Canada everyday. It all pretty much based on the color of my skin. If a person I am interacting with cannot see me, we have no problems and I usually get what I want.
when I have to hash our a problem face to face, some people just screw with me because I am black and they think its fun. Sometimes I think that people of other nations think that black women do not have feelings or thoughts. That it is socially acceptable to “dump on” a black woman…and they are absolutely right.
Today in all my pain I wondered…
Today in all my pain I wondered to my self? Where is there a black womans support group. It could be bible based or not bible based, there needs to be some sort of black women support group. We are making other people’s pockets rich because we do not like our appearance…we run into so many walls and we have no support. Ok I need to explain…
Beauty shop Education
I went to the beauty shop with a friend yesterday. This person is transgendered. Male to female. Whatever to me “she” is a person. So, we go to the beauty shop. She starts getting into it with the supervisor of the store because a week ago she was there and one of the black attendants refered to her as a “he.” So,. the request of my friend was that they should “hire some white European women” to work the floor because they are more open-minded to the Transgendered thing.
Fine…So the Supervisor eventually said, we hire black people because when black women come in here they want to see their own. Well I had to give her a quick education. I said “Miss, From a black womans mind…The truth is…black women do not want to look like black women…black women want to look like white women…” You should have seen the glazed look come over her face. Like I had just opened the door to increased profits for her. If she would bring more white women to work in there, do you know how much more bleaching cream they could sell, and blond weave? I know this sounds like I am making a joke, and I know not all black women think like this, but I have met many who do. I am not one of them, that is why I am so comfortable speaking about it, cause it doesn’t apply to me.
Making money off black pain…
The point is….people are making money off of black women’s pain and self-hatred of their natural appearance, and there is no support group? I guess I have to start it. There needs to be support. I keep meeting too many black women who do not know who they are, who do not know what Rastafari is, who are jealous of me because of the length of my hair, who are jealous of me because I know my self….who need to learn how to earn money independently….
We black women need each other…
Black women we need each other, the black community on a whole needs to unite. But I need a space online just for black women to uplift each oter. This is my serious Rasta Rant. I didn’t mean to offend any one.
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As a Rastafari Empress I experience a lot of Racism and Culturalism. I don’t see why people have to hate on me because I have dreadlocks and I am black. every time I experience hatred and culturalism I am going to put it on my blog.
I was in an internet cafe on Yonge street near Wellsley. I sat in a seat to use the computer. I was waiting for my friend to come back from the bank machine so we could pay for the computers. I put her purse in the seat beside me, and I sat in the window seat. In about 5 minutes the tendee was telling me I had to get up cause someone paid for the seat.
I was like what??? I said “I am sitting right here!” She was like sorry somebody paid for that seat. I said I am right here I told you I was waiting for my friend. She was like well he paid for that seat. I said to her, he paid for the time not for the seat. I am sitting right here. Suddenly I had 3 people surrounding me telling me I had to get up because the guy had been there before me. I said well he was not here when I sat down. I am here.
To me this was Racism. do you know that all but 2 seats in the room were available out of 8. The tendee should have told the guy, that “sorry, I think there is someone in that seat right now.” But she didn’t say that.
Today I was in the library. I was reading the story of Harriet Tubman and how she was inspired to help slaves get free. I realized wearing my locks out is a very important symbol. I’m not going to run, I am not going to be afraid. I am going to stand up and fight.
The last thing I said in the room of internet cafe computers…was “If I had been a white woman, or a white man, she would not have done that.” Nobody said anything back to me.
I have a very rich culture and history that I am very proud of. Black people still have to stand strong and firm for their rights. Especially if they are a Natty like me. ‘
Read my blog post here entitled “Are Rastafarians just dirty?”