I want to share with you the many forms of Racism I have encountered. To you some of them may be nothing, you may event consider some of them positive. But add them all up over 30 years and its too much to swallow.
my first encounter of “Racism”
I had been about 4 years living in the same area. Just getting to know all the children living in my building and around.
I am playing on the monkey bars and for the second time, a certain little boy, calls me “N” I did say it was the second time right, by the way I was about 8 years old when this happened. This little boy also used to beat me up and I would run home crying.
Just before this incident occurred….I told my Mom that a boy in the park was beating me up. She told me the next time He did it I needed to punch him hard! So that last time he called me “N” and I was on the Monkey bars, I jumped down off the monkey bars, punched him in the stomach, he doubled over, I ran home…He never called me “N” again.
So, I am in the bar (before I was Rastafari ofcourse) having a beer and doing my thing. There is a white guy, immediately he notices me. He starts talking to me….he says Yeah My ex girlfriend was black. We hadnet even been talking 5 mintues. I almost feel like as soon as he saw me he planned to get these words out.
Do you know How many times I have heard variations of the same sentence…..
- My babyfather is black (Jamaican)
- My God Mother is Jamaican
- My Son is Black…
First of all I really dont care, second…I dont want you to treat me or talk to me, or date me because of my skin color. This is just sick! You should get to know me.
I love when I meet people Asian, white, black, who make no mention of my skin color. Then I feel like we are relating as two people.
Dont talk to me because I am black and Jamaican, and then tell me of all the Jamaican or black connections in your life. I feel that is ignorant. It doesnt make us sisters, and it doesnt mean you understand my experience as a black woman any better. To know it you have to be it.
When I was 11…
When I as 11 years old or so maybe 13 I had a girfriend her name was Erin. Anyway we were planning for a night out with some other girls…she made the comment right in her bedroom infront of all 3 of us…”oh yeah black people never have any money.” Do you know she ended up marrying a black man…he was a pinp for goodness sakes. I think that is totally racist. And this girl was my friend for goodness sakes….
So there is the blatent and the not so blatent.
There are many more examples but I dont like to think about it because I get upset and start doubting the people around me…..
I encounter Racism every day. I am exausted by it. I think people will never be able to see me a just a person. Only a black woman, and do most that means something fearful.
One thing I promised my self when I became a Rastafari, is that I would never try to make people like me….I just think if they dont like you, then they dont like you. It made me really see how many people like me because I like them and how many people like me for me.